Unfortunately, I did not perform the Samhain ritual I so wanted to do. Between drama related to a group project for one of my classes, and the start of NaNoWriMo, ritual slipped away and didn’t happen.
I’m disappointed, both that it didn’t happen, and in myself for letting it become the least important thing in my life.
School is important; I’ll even go so far as to say that right now it’s the most important thing in my life because it is what I’m doing to better myself in ways that add up both spiritually and mundanely. It’s also part of my plan to become financially independent and move away from a tense situation that stems from past abuse.
NaNoWriMo is important to me, it’s been part of my life since 2008. Writing is part of me, even if I don’t often do it well or, well, often. I haven’t won NaNo in three years.
But placing NaNo beside my spirituality and spiritual life, it should not have come first. I could have made up the word count. It wouldn’t have been fun, but I’ve done it before.
In the future, I will put more effort into putting my spiritual needs before wants that aren’t truly needs.
I look forward to Yule, and not long after that, New Year.