tarot deck
Divination, Magic, Pagan, Paganism

Tarot, Romance, and Me

Everyone who reads Tarot for others on even a semi-regular basis has run into a client or querant who asks the wrong questions. Many of you have developed some sort of system for how to talk to these clients, how to either tell them outright, or gently coach them toward the right questions. Or, even, depending on their level of denial, your system may be simply to tell them to go elsewhere.

I never had to develop a system, or a protocol for this.

The reason is because my cards–especially the Robin Wood deck–will take care of it for me.

I noticed fairly early on that with certain querants, especially when I drew a Celtic Cross spread, the cards would acknowledge the original question but then proceed to ignore it. Basically, the first couple of cards would acknowledge the question, but the rest of the spread basically said “but really, you should be focused on this.”


This most often happens for me with clients asking about romance or romantic relationship issues.

I’ve had querants and clients ask many different kinds of questions and one thing I find people are the most blind about is romance. I understand that, I’ve been blind and frankly rather stupid about romance in the past. So I get it, but it’s interesting to me how this is the one area of questioning where people are so consistently determined to ask questions they know the answers to, or where they’re not willing to hear the answers.

Because very often the answer is that the relationship just isn’t right for them, or that they need to do some personal work before any relationship would be right for them, or the person they’re with isn’t right for them and maybe is downright abusive.

People have the hardest time hearing these kinds of answers–in my experience, anyway–than almost any other kind of answer. Most often, romance is the least of what a person should be worrying about and if they were honest with themselves they would acknowledge it.

There’s an entire conversation (and debate) over the role of society and cultural expectations in our approach to romance. I think the conversation has merit, but it’s not necessarily relevant to this post.


As I said, this happens most often in a Celtic Cross spread with my Robin Wood deck,

I love the Robin Wood deck.

however there are other ways for this to happen.

The Tarot of the Silicon Dawn is an entire deck that doesn’t put up with the lies we tell ourselves or the masks we hide behind. This blunt, straightforward deck forces you to look at those truths you’ve been hiding from. It’s a great deck for Shadow work.

When I find a return client who keeps coming back over and over with the same question, I might decide to use the Silicon Dawn for them.

I mean, any deck whose book entry for the Ten of Sword begins with “Well you’ve fucked it up now, haven’t you?” is a deck to be treasured. Am I right?

Robin Wood, on the other hand, is far more gentle. It doesn’t shove anything in your face, though it will gently point out where you’re going wrong with your questions.


This post is a little more rambly than I wanted it to be, so I think I’ll just end it here.

What I’m trying to convey is two-fold, really.

Clients, don’t come to me with romance-related questions unless you’re pretty self-aware and…

… still be prepared to have your answer hijacked by something else if the universe decides there’s more pressing issues.

Other readers would think this rude or maybe unprofessional of me, to tell a client I can’t read for them on certain issues, or that they may not have their question answered if they come to me. I think of it as the opposite: I’m a professional telling you what my limitations are, and what your experience with me might entail, so you can make the choice to go elsewhere if you like.


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